Wednesday, March 2, 2011

I Thought it Would Get Easier

  I don't think I'll ever forget last year when I started my big JDRF fund raising push for 2010.  I remember making that first video and how tough it was; not technically, but emotionally.  It was even hard to write the e-mails to everyone telling them about what Jonathan and so many others go through on a daily basis and what the real risks of diabetes are even though we try to not dwell on them every day.

  So I don't know why I thought this year would be any easier.  Jonathan is a year older, a few inches taller, and more amazing than ever, but when I have to sit down and really think about it I can't help but hurt when I think about the issues he may have to face.  I remember just how much I hate this f*^%!#@ disease and how really helpless and small I feel next to it.

  Maybe it's a good thing though.  Maybe, if I can focus a little, all those nasty feelings can be channeled to fuel the drive to do something better.  Use the dark side against itself.  I don't know, I guess we'll have to see how that works out. In the mean time, I'll just keep plugging away until I get what I really want.

5 comments:

  1. It sounds like you are on the right track... take the feelings, harness them, and make them work for you. Don't hold back.... and it will be GREAT!
    Good Luck!!
    -Donna
    www.sugarkidsblog.com

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  2. i teared up reading your post. i guess it hits me like a knife in the heart when i read other d mums posting about it. in my own life with my t1 son i have to be brave. hang in there xx.

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  3. The walk is always the hardest time for me. Looking at the reality of this disease just isn't fun. I had to take a break from the walk for a couple years because I just didn't want to look diabetes in the eye.

    Good luck with the walk Marc!

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  4. Theres a lot of these same feeling floating around lately. I thought my mind would be "better" by now.

    Keep pluggin... thats all we can do :)
    Good luck with the walk.

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  5. Love you guys Marc...it is hard....even 4 years into it..as we head into our fourth Walk...

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