Wednesday, December 15, 2010

He's too smart for my own good

   Jonathan's a bright kid (and he better be if he wants to make good on his plans to become a doctor), this was no news to me.  Starting the pump just before he turned 5 I figured we wait a good four to five years before we would start teaching him how to use his pump.  Well... little man had a different plan apparently.  I guess seeing something done three or more times a day, seven days a week, for three months, he was bound to catch on to a thing or two.

   A few weeks back, Jonathan began insisting he could lock his pump himself - and promptly demonstrated the swift button presses to do it.  At first I was a little concerned that he would push any buttons, but knowing how obsessed he is about having his pump locked I thought this would be OK should an occasion arise where he was without us and noticed his pump unlocked.  Content to have him maneuver his tech to a safe place, I let it go for a while.

   Monday night, much to my horror, he unlocked the pump.  "Hmmmmm..." I thought, "this isn't good".  So we had a little talk about who unlocks and who doesn't.  He happily agreed.

   Last night, when it was time for his shower, I was disconnecting him and he proudly told me that he knew how to suspend his pump.  I paused for a moment and then decided I should know if he really could.  I handed him his unlocked pump and S#!T  Click click click - beep.  UH OH!

  While I'm impressed that he picked this up and does it without even seeming to have to think about it, I'm totally horrified that he could suspend it and go hours without insulin... or even worse yet... the unthinkable.... give himself up to 5 units without a single carb to balance it (5 is his current max bolus setting and I don't think he'll be changing that without an insane amount of bad luck).

   And so my dilemma...  Do I start teaching my five year old son how to use his pump properly or put the fear of God into him that if he so much unsnaps the case a holy hell-fire will rain down upon him?  I figure the latter will result in some sort of emotional scaring that will take reams of therapy to correct before he can ever look at the pump again, but the former just doesn't seem right for us at this time either.

   So with some serious thinking and a nice chat with a great friend (who is also a nurse, CDE, and is pretty much the go to gal in the clinic at the hospital) I think I'm going to go somewhere down the middle: there will be Jonathan jobs and Mommy-Daddy-Nurse-Grandma jobs.  Jonathan can keep his hands clean before testing, Jonathan can test and Jonathan can unlock and lock with Mommy or Daddy present.  Mommy-Daddy-Nurse-Grandma are the only ones who can push other buttons, and most importantly - Jonathan NEVER activates insulin (by the way, I know he knows how because he talks grandma through it step-by-step).

   Even giving him a little responsibility with the pump specifically is terrifying.  He could test all day long for all I care (as long as he is at least testing), but to push pump buttons.... I think this is what handing over car keys someday might feel like.  So hopefully, for my sanity, at least a few years of pump drivers ed and then we'll see where we go from there.